5 Tips to Get Your Groom Involved in the Wedding Planning Process
1. Ask His Opinion
This may seem like a no-brainer, but one of the best things you can do for your groom at the beginning of the planning process is to ask his opinion.
When you are first deciding the type of wedding you want, from size to location, sit down together and each creates a list or narrative of your ideal wedding. If you approach him with everything already planned out and decided, he’s likely to just agree with you to keep things simple. I know, isn’t that what we all want in a marriage?
Yes, but when it comes to this special day, I promise you he will feel valued and heard if he can have some say in the decision-making process.
What if he doesn’t know what he wants? That certainly is a possibility and your groom just might not be the type to have strong opinions on a wedding.
If he can’t tell you what his ideal wedding would look like, give him some options for each category - venue, guest list, food, etc. - and let him give his vote. It’s the best of both worlds, you can pick the options you like best ahead of time and give him a vote to make the final decision.
2. Give Him a To-Do List
Here’s where you will need to assess what your guy will and will not do. Figure out what parts of the wedding planning he might enjoy and (politely) ask him to tackle some of the tasks on your list. For instance, give him small but important tasks such as picking out wedding favors, selecting the DJ, or ordering his wedding band.
These are all things that should be part of the early planning stage, and he may really enjoy feeling like he’s put his personal touch on the event.
If your groom is not already a highly organized person, you will want to make sure you have a system for staying in sync as you divide up tasks. Set up a shared document or calendar so that you both can complete tasks independently and then record when they are completed.
3. Put Him in Charge of His Groomsmen
Here’s where your groom can really be helpful and take some of the work off your plate. Put him in charge of his side of the wedding party, meaning coordinating day-of details with his groomsmen, selecting suits and accessories, collecting the wedding bands and ordering momentos from groomsmen gift sites like this one.
You might even want to encourage him to get his Best Man to help out if he’s overwhelmed with this assignment. If he gets friends involved, he’s more likely to enjoy it!
4. Utilize His Skills
Is your groom really handy? Does he play music or build things in his spare time? Whatever he is good at, task him with something related to his interests. For instance, this could be a great opportunity to save some money and do a DIY project together.
You could use his handyman skills for any number of things from building a ceremony backdrop to creating handmade welcome signs. Establish your expectations early-on though, as you don’t want to surprise him with lots of carpentry work a week before the wedding.
In addition, try to give him something fun and really personal to do. Maybe he would like to write a song to perform at the reception or choreograph a fun dance with you or his groomsmen. Is he into photography? Let him lead a photoshoot before the wedding and display his photos on the day-of. Your wedding day is about both of you, so make sure a bit of his personality shines through.
5. Bring Him on Your Errands, and Make it Fun
There is a lot to do when planning a wedding, and you’re likely to have many appointments to attend and errands to run during the process. Make a calendar of all these tasks and have your groom attend at least a couple.
If he’s hesitant, frame it as a fun date where you can spend some quality time together, maybe even with the promise of food and drinks after. In my experience, you add beer to any errand and it becomes a good time!
Obviously, your guy is not going to want to attend a bridesmaid dress fitting or hair appointment but take him along to test caterers and sample wedding cakes, tour venues, select flower arrangements, etc. And definitely bring him along when you go to create your registry, it may save you from a later argument about kitchen appliances or silverware styles. No matter what, you may be surprised to discover some new things about your groom, and it can be a great bonding experience for both of you!
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